Psychotics

Chapter 1-Page 1      Confined


Caged, silence, lost...

     I sit in the middle of my grey padded cell. No windows, no bed, nothing but padding and a two inch thick metal door to chain me here; wearing a paper thin green gown that the staff preferred to call clothes. My head bowed forward making my greasy muddy brown hair, grown way out passed my shoulders, shown in its ratty state in front of my eyes.

     I've been in this hole for days only let out for daily bathroom breaks or spoon fed a tasteless grey mush. I stay on good behavior when I'm out in the halls, the nurses carry a syringe ready to pounce on the nearest mad-man. I know how to play the game; no one knows what's in the green liquid of that needle but i rather not let it seep into my skin to try an erratic escape.

     The door creaks open behind me i hear the hush of his shoes on the padded floor seeing his black teeny-shoes through my hair as he balances on the balls of his feet ;facing me.

  "Hello Mitchell." He greeted pleasantly.

Dead End

Life hasn't been as it once was.
The mind is weakening and losing its site
I had in my mind a journy
 my way has gone
The child mind fades and in the real world
They don't want to see the make believe
You create, you plan, you write
yet the writing is leaving and I can't keep up
I want my words to mean something
but they are not noticed at all...

Walk into Nothingness

I walk

I don't know when I started

I do not think

I do not even know where I'm going

but I'm going

The stabbing pain of budding blisters

I stubbornly pound my feet

walking past empty, nothingness

not toward home or any place of safety

  Need of escaping

So focused

So focused on what I need to do

 Get away,

away from everything

to become what I believe

Forward; forward with my aching feet

until I don't feel anymore

I don't need food or water

I don't need breath or life

I become an observer

My eyes see everything

 when everyone else is passing by

Noticing the life I have

and the life I'm desperately reaching for.

Gnarling my fingers to get it in my grasp!

Hours feel like minutes

 Wanting to disappear for days

not knowing where I'm going

 falling off the flat of earth and unforgiving landscape

 having no idea where I ended

Disappear with me

No spoken words to repeat

follow and lets begin

to the life we are fighting towards

Walk with no life to look behind

Walk away alone

and free myself from being me

 only a ghost to be

that will always be chained

to this life that never felt like living