Random Free Write

    The tar black night with no points of light from stars, leads you to believe there will be no more rainbow sunrises; ice cold snow crunches beneath my feet, I'm lost in my own nightmarish wonderland in this labyrinth  forest. The chill of this inky abyss makes me shiver; I've never wanted to meet my fears head on but here I was; lost in this frozen forest entrapped with them.
Chasing after this character, that people repeatedly tried to convince me, wasn't real; that it was all inside my mind; I'll prove them wrong!
    I stumbled through the dark, hands out stretched; thrashing, pushing aside unseen obstacles. Jumping at every sound that echoed like a amphitheater or flinching away from sudden pains as pine needles pricked my skin; if I could see, I'm sure my breath would be like a, steam train billowing out its smoke; for the temperature was dropping drastically.
  How cold must it before my blood begins to freeze?
No. I will not think of that. Focus. Him. Find Him.
  What if everyone is right? What if he is not real? You're going to die chasing something that isn't there!?
shut up! shut up! shut up!
    I knelt to the hard ground, packed with stone hard snow; likely leave bruises on my knees. The burning of tears threatening to over flow; a pent up scream of pain, frustration ,and utter lost of hope clawing its way up my throat to be let lose. I surrender...

    I heard His gasp of surprise and dismay at the sight of me on the ground. I could not see Him but His presents, hearing His intake of breath made every pain I've endured so far, vanish.
    "Zaara." His deep voice, softly whispered my name; enveloping me with instant warmth. "Why are you out here? You can't be so careless about your own safety." He wrapped arms around me and caressed my face leaving warmth in its wake where our skin met. How He could see in this shadowed dark I knew not but He was here; holding me, touching me.
    I blindly turned and pressed my frosted face to His perfect, strong, muscled chest; deeply inhaling His crisp fresh scent of pine tree sap and campfire smoke.
  "Hakan." I sighed contently.
   Hakan is real, he has to be! No fragmentation could be this solid!  Whatever Hakan was, real or imagined, I wanted him here; by my side always. He had saved my life numerous times before. But in the manner of his persona, I knew, he was something not of this world. Nothing like vampires or werewolves but of a darker myth; a forbidden legend, that was here before all other creatures were made.
     "Come, I need to get you out of this weather." Hakan murmured into my hair as he planted a comforting kiss there. He lifted me up in his arms and sprinted silently making no sound through the thick forest. Finally, scummed to my exhaustion, I fell to sleep in his arms; begging, praying he'd still be with me when morning comes.
  
     

Paintbrush

I keep my paintbrush with me, whereever I may go,

In case I need to cover up, so the real me doesn't show.

I'm so afraid to show you me;afraid of what you'll do,

I'm afraid you'll laugh or say mean things; afaid I might lose you.

I'd like to remove all the layers, to show you the real, true me

But I want you to try to understand; I need you to like what you see.

So if you'll be patient and close your eyes, I'll remove the coats real

slow,

Please understand how much it hurts, to let the real me show.

Now that my coats are all stripped off, I feel naked, bare and cold,

And if you still find me pleasing, you are my friend, pure as gold.

I need to save my paintbrush though, and hold it in my hand,

I need to keep it handy in case someone doesn't understand.

So please protect me, my dear friend, and thanks for loving me true,

And please let me keep my paintbrush with me, until I love me, too.

Heart of me

Heart of me

Outlandish, compassionate, obstinate, affectionate

But I feel so absent in the world but knowing I’ll make a difference someday

Who cares for everyone even if they don’t notice.

Who feels heavily broken by the spiteful words of others

Who gives contentment and delight to all those around

Trying to give a helping hand to them

Who fears being despised, of being unloved

Of going astray from who they are

Who would adore seeing with new sight

And getting things right!

Who would love to see a vivid new day of change

With enlightened hope that never fades away

An enduring soul of The Unknown